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Why you should love Rise Of The Guardians
By grownasschild
Wow
is this reality?
so cool
This is just an excuse to fangirl over rotg characters I’m not sorry
North
This is North AKA Santa Claus
He is the leader of the Guardians
He got some badass Tattoos
He is also attractive (no seriously he gives me a lady boner and you’re lying if you say that didn’t happen to you while watching the movie
Alec Baldwin voice him just to let you know
Itches
He’s also Russian what?
He also has two
swords
he could kick your ass
don’t you doubt that
that’s hot
mmm
He is really sassy look at him
E. Aster Bunnymund
this is the Easter Bunny
he is so badass omfg
he is Australian
he uses boomerangs how more Australian
can you get?
Hugh fuckin Jackman voices him,
that makes bunny like 50% hotter
He makes us question our sexuality
I’m okay with this this is his Nic Cage impression
He is tsundere
Him and Jack have
some sexual tension
when he is low on power, he
becomes super cute
how can you not love that??
He is also sassy
get it girl
Tooth Fairy
This is Toothiana (or just Tooth) she has no personal boundaries
She is half hummingbird and half
human
she is the cutest and I will fight you
if you think otherwise
she has a crush
on Jack but who doesn’t
She never touches the ground b/c she knows she is too she also can split
good for that shit into little versions
of herself
she could fuck you up
look at how beautiful she is!? with her mini selves
her eyelashes are crey crey
she is flirty but why
wouldn’t she be?
she also makes you question
your sexuality get it girl
look out beyonce here comes the tooth fairy
Sandman
This is the Sandman(Sandy for short) he communicates with symbols above his head
he is the oldest guardians
also the sassiest (he taught all
the guardians how to be sassy)
He is really chill
He doesn’t talk but I think he has a really deep voice
being so old and all
How can you hate this dude?
look at his hair but he could
beat your ass
down
he looks like the baby Jesus
he just killed that elf
that’s how thug he is
This is Jack Frost, he is a 300 yr old he is sassy too but not as sassy as others
dead kid
d He carries a stick so he can beat you
with it
he also doesn’t wear any shoes
he was alone for 300 yrs
so he is emotional
Every thing he touch dies become icy
It must be hard to masturbate for him
he has a on/off
relationship with
He is kawaii look at his eyes damn look out beyonce the moon
he just wants to be believed in
if you hate him fangirls will
shank you
he also wants to be in floral
design
Jack Frost
Pitch
This is Pitch Black (boogeyman)
he is as old as Sandy
he is really sassy
he also has horsies that will
fuck you up
he has a lot of emotions
He wears a dress and he looks hot it’s probably b/c he doesn’t
And he knows it have eyebrows
get it girl
he is the moon’s
ex-boyfriend
he makes me question
my sexuality
Why you should hate Rise Of The Guardians
You shouldn’t
If you do than you didn’t have a very good childhood
This movie has Russian Santa, Australian Easter Bunny, Half Hummingbird/human tooth fairy, thug ass Sandman, and Kawaii Jack Frost
What more do you want?
Don’t be selfish
Thug Sandman will kill you like he did with the elf
The books
The Guardians of Childhood (which the movie was loosely base on) by William Joyce
There are 3 out now (1st:North 2nd:Bunnymund 3rd:Toothiana)
Read these you will not be disappointed
They are badass omfg please
The North book will make you swoon
b/c North is really badass and sexy in that one omfg
go buy them now
Conclusion
Go watch this movie
Go read the books
Every character will make you question your sexuality if I didn’t already point that out
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