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11 Ways to Bounce Back from Failure 1.ppt

Published Sep 14, 2016 in
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11 WAYS TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

Challenges and setbacks are bound to happen in the course of living. Sometimes, you may have worked very hard and long and still failed in the venture you embarked upon. It is never an enjoyable experience when you see something for which you have worked so hard crumble to pieces right before your face. It may have been an examination or a promotion that you earnestly anticipated but you didn’t get the results you expected. It may be your marriage that suddenly hit the rocks despite the efforts to make it work. It is possible that you toiled and waited all night waiting for a miracle but it never happened. One of the hardest realities of life is that everyone sometimes fails at something.

You are Allowed to Wallow in Self-pityWhen you are faced with a difficult situation or you are facing a terrible challenge, people often ask you to be strong. But this is never as easy as it seems in reality. How do you tell someone who just lost his job to be strong? When all your hopes crash and there is nothing to hold on to, the advice to be strong can sometimes come as very insensitive. The truth is that no one can truly understand how you feel or know the millions of negative thoughts racing through your mind. Yes, you are permitted to wallow in self-pity and cry if you must in order to come to terms with the situation. Pretending to be strong or denying the reality will not do much good at this time. It is probably the only time you are allowed to soak yourself in self-pity because it allows your mind to heal and get better. 1

Don’t Stay There for too LongAs much as it is good to cry and feel pity for yourself, you should not dwell there for too long. Staying there for too long creates room for very negative thoughts that can overcome and hinder your ability to recover from the negative situation. There is a time to cry and mourn your loss but it shouldn’t last forever. Your ability to recover and return to normalcy will largely depend on how fast you move on from wallowing in self-pity. It is true that some people are unable to recover from terrible situations or imagine the possibility of a better life. Get up, dust your back and start the process to recovery. 2

Re-examine the Events that HappenedDuring this time, you will need to objectively look at the events that happened and take responsibility of the mistakes that led to the situation. This is the time to ask yourself what you could have done better. You should never listen to people who advise you to just move on and forget the past. Life is like a school and there are always learning points that help you chart the course for the future. You could have been too hasty or slow in making the right decisions. Or maybe your anger took the better of you and you reacted without much rational thought. It is possible that you didn’t plan well or anticipated the events that happened. This stage helps you come to terms with the situation and how you could have managed the events better for a better outcome. 3

Don’t die in Silence Times of distress require you to surround yourself with someone or people who have your best interest. You will need people who you can lean on and who will not make a mockery of your situation or condemn you. Your parents can fulfil this role. If you have an understanding spouse, he/she can assist. You can get a good friend over who will be there for you, listen to you and possibly cry with you. Your ability to recover is sometimes dependent on the help you receive. Staying alone can be seriously harmful and sometimes, you may not recover because of the amount of negativity that might flood your mind. So you need to understand that no one is an island. Everyone needs help at some point in their lives. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to be vulnerable or ask for help. 4

Don’t be too Hard on Yourself The easy thing to do is to blame yourself for the situation. But the truth is that these things happen in life and it might not be a direct result of your mistake or negligence. Sometimes, you may be directly responsible but being too hard on yourself will not make the situation better. So you might feel better if you understand that mistakes do happen in life even when we put in our best. Being too hard on yourself will prolong your self-pity and you might find it hard to quickly recover. So it is important you understand that you are human and even with the best intentions and best efforts, things can still go wrong. 5

Remind yourself that this too shall passOne way to deal with the situation is to remind yourself that this too shall pass. There is no situation that is permanent. If you take a look at your life, you will probably see more difficult situations you have handled and came out of better off. A more likely scenario is to see total darkness and no end in sight. But there is nothing you will face today that others who have gone ahead of you have not faced. It gets better and you need to remind yourself constantly. If you have to, you can boldly write it on your wall and remind yourself that tough times never last but tough people do. Indeed, this too shall pass. 6

Take a Break and make Yourself HappyDuring times of trial and tribulation, it helps to take time and do something that makes you happy. What do you enjoy? It might be taking part in sports or dancing. Maybe you’ve not been out in a long time with friends. Taking time out to do what truly what makes you happy will certainly make you feel better. It removes your mind from the situation and you can laugh again. You probably have not visited your family and friends for a long time because you were too busy. This is the time to connect again and mend fences. 7

Look at the Bright SideLooking at the bright side helps you appreciate all the other great things that are happening in your life. The fact that you have failed in a particular area of your life doesn’t necessarily mean that you have failed in every area of your life. It is called compartmentalisation. Other areas of your life may be great and you need to remember that always. Maybe it was good for you that the business failed. It might be better after-all that your marriage didn’t work because you could have died if you stayed back. It means that you need to count your blessings in other areas where you are doing well. 8

Look for Someone in Need of HelpThis is probably the best time to be of help to someone who is passing through a trial or a difficult period. Forgetting your situation and lending a helping hand to someone in need will help you appreciate the fact that it could have been worse. When you step out there and try to help someone, you will discover that there are people who are dealing with more difficult situations and challenges. Helping someone in need helps you heal and recover from your situation. Step out of your situation, reach out and lend a hand to someone. 9

Time to start looking againDo not rush but it may be time to start looking out for opportunities again. Do not be deceived to think that you will fail again. You have failed and learnt your lessons and now understand how to do things better. You have spent enough time to reflect on what went wrong and the experience has made you a better person. So it’s time to write your resume and start looking for opportunities. You can love again or find someone who will appreciate you and be there for you. You are stronger and better prepared to face the challenges that life may bring.10

Start dreaming againYes you can dream again. Failure is an opportunity to do things differently and expect better results. Imagine the possibility of a better future and start working towards it. Your dreams may have failed in the past but your past does not define you. What ultimately determines how you end up is how you are able to envision a future, despite your setbacks. Your mind must be totally resolved to do things differently in order to achieve better results. You must be resolute in your resolve that you are ultimately responsible for how you become. Remember that Nigeria’s former President, Olusegun Obasanjo was in prison when he was asked to become president. President Buhari tried several times to become president and failed before he finally succeeded. Indeed, your situations, circumstances and setbacks do not define you. You do. So start dreaming again. 11