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Ze Borgia Family.pptx

Published Apr 3, 2013 in
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Presentation Slides & Transcript

Presentation Slides & Transcript

Ze Borgia Family
super sexy
mmm incest

Rodrigo Borgia aka Pope Alexander SEXtus
Papa Smurf
The “head” of the family
Lol yeah right
Basically he likes whores and God and underdogs
And by underdogs I mean his dumb as shit kid
He’s supposed to be the main character
And like super smart and everything
But basically he’s oblivious and dumb as shit half the time
Like dude how did you not know that your kid was a sociopath
How did you not
Also I can’t understand half of what he says
“Caterina Sforza IHSODHDH”
look at cesare’s face
my face whenever rodrigo speaks

Vanozza and Giulia
vanozza’s “my kids are such evil shits” face
everyone’s gay for giulia
Rodrigo’s baby mama
Vanozza knows all
Like she can’t do anything about it
But she knows all
She wishes one of her kids wasn’t born
Basically she’s the best and would probably run the world if Rodrigo wasn’t such a douche
Rodrigo’s current mistress who deserves better
The fairest of them all
Teaches Lucrezia how to win people over with sapphic kisses and feminine whiles
Giulia brings the threesomes
Also the orgies

Cesare Borgia aka Valentino omg
Rodrigo’s oldest kid
I bet you think he’s adorable
Cesare’s basically a stone cold sociopath sisterfucker masquerading as this guy who gives nice toasts at your weddings and baptizes your kid idk
Atheist priest
Until he wasn’t
Really likes torturing people
Really really likes fratricide
Really really REALLY like his sister’s body
I would tap that so hard you don’t even know
His hair changes with the weather

“guh just fuck the world why am i not murdering or incesting rn why dad you suck so bad WHY”

Juan Borgia
GOB Bluth of the family
Second born second place
The douchiest douche you will ever meet but somehow has a sizable fanbase
Does not wear leather pants
Does work a mullet in s1 and the homeless look in s2
“Kill me? Your younger brother? Father would never forgive you”
Well that was a mistake
juan why you know cesare don’t give a shit if your name isn’t lucrezia why juan why

Lucrezia Borgia
Poisons people bangs brother queen of the world basically
The secret truth of the Borgias
Cesare is the real leader of the family
And lucrezia is literally and metaphorically riding cesare like a wild bull
So who do you think is in charge
I’ll give you one guess
Beauty is a powerful weapon I LOVE YOU
She and cesare are basically two sides of the same coin and the show is basically about them with JEREMY IRONS AS POPE ALEXANDER
“only a borgia can love a borgia” I WANNA DIE

Other peeps
Cesare’s sassy ginger assassin
Super obsessed with cesare
He’s basically me in that way
“are you saying i’m not pretty”
Yes actually sorry about your face
The greatest person you will ever meet
She leads the sforza family even tho she’s a lady
And all her stupid ass male cousins are scared of her
this douchenozzle fell on cesare’s knife like thirty times
normal brother avenging his sister stuff
Caterina bamf Sforza

normal brother sister relationship

just kidding

she’s totally doing him
woops we’re going on a brotherly walk you aren’t going to die or anything

other important stuff

omg my kids

where did i go wrong

always killing and banging each other
holy shit we’re hot
babe lemme smell your hair

sure why not who run the world